Eight decades later: how one war-time romance has stood the test of time

Key points:

• A couple at Hervey Bay’s Bolton Clarke Baycrest residential care home in Queensland recently celebrated 80 years of marriage on January 20, 2025
• Joan and Alan, who met during World War II, married after a year of dating and 80 years later, they live together in this Queensland aged care home
• The Aged Care Guide can help you find couples’ accommodation for you and your loved one, meaning you can stay together as you age

A couple who live at Bolton Clarke Baycrest residential care home in Hervey Bay celebrated their 80th anniversary this week on January 20, 2025, highlighting the benefits of couples living together in aged care homes.

Joan and Alan, who are 99 and 101 years old, celebrated their special day by cutting their anniversary cake and looking at photos of their younger selves, surrounded by friends and family.

During the celebration, Alan expressed gratitude about the years spent together with Joan after eight decades of marriage.

“We’ve been very lucky — we have been able to travel and do all those things and here we are 80 years later,” he said.

Joan and Alan met during World War II in 1944 and despite only having spent 12 months together, Alan explained why they decided to get married.

“We saw a lot of each other over the next 12 months [since meeting] and right before I was about to be moved out to New Guinea, I asked Joan if she would like to get married,” he said.

“I thought if we didn’t, we probably would never see each other again. She said yes, so we got married on 20th January 1945.”

Alan and Joan married before Alan was sent to New Guinea as a member of the Australian Army. [Source: Bolton Clarke; supplied]

After Joan was discharged from the Australian Army and Alan didn’t return to Grafton until 1946, they eventually moved in the 1950s to Ballina, a town in New South Wales.

Along with their dedication to each other, Joan and Alan accomplished many things in their 80 years together, as Alan spoke about some of their achievements.

“We were even declared Citizens of the Year in Ballina in 1985 and Joan was awarded the Medal of the Order of Australia at Australia Day in 2000,” he said.

As Joan and Alan live in the same aged care home, spending time together is easier, with the couple often seen chatting together and holding hands.

In a previous interview with the Aged Care Guide, Dr Alison Rahn explained why older people can benefit from living close to each other, even in residential aged care situations.

“Research shows for most people, sleeping with a partner is a social activity and when their partner is not there they can’t sleep properly,” she said.

“For many [people] it’s extremely distressing — after so many years together — to be separated from the person they love.”

Approximately one in three people in Australian residential aged care are married.

Despite spending more than eight decades together, Joan and Alan enjoy spending time together in their aged home where there are plenty of activities available. 

Regular community activities such as barbeques and indoor bowls are held to enable residents to socialise with others, as well as a community bus service so residents can explore the local Hervey Bay.

The lounge in the aged care home allows residents to play games and do arts and crafts, while the on-site chapel allows residents to connect with religion.

The Aged Care Guide provides search options to help you choose the most suitable aged care provider for you or your loved one. 

With the Aged Care Guide, you can search for aged care homes in locations across Australia with search filters, such as 24/7 registered nursing, secure dementia beds and rooms with ensuites.

Additionally, you can use the ‘couples’ accommodation’ filter to view aged care homes that allow couples to continue living together without needing to be separated in different facilities or rooms.

Some aged care homes may have double or interconnected rooms specifically designed for couples wishing to stay close.

However, if couples’ accommodation in an aged care home won’t suit you and your loved one, other options may be available.

On the Aged Care Guide website, you can find many information guides to help you better understand your options for nursing homes, home care and retirement villages. 

Not only will this make it easier for you to know more about what’s happening in the aged care sector, but also help you make informed decisions about future care options. 

Additionally, print copies of the Aged Care Guide are distributed throughout Australia to hospitals and health professionals. If you struggle to get a copy due to demand, you can also get the latest version of the Aged Care Guide for free — you’ll just need to pay postage.

What type of aged care do you think would suit your loved one the best?

Let the team at Talking Aged Care know on social media. 

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