Confiding in spouse eases stress over sexual issues

A new study suggests that it may not help older men and women with sexual problems to talk to a doctor, but men who talk to their partner report greater happiness, and those who talked with friends felt less depressed.

The American research, to be published in the Journal of Gerontology: Social Sciences, shows that the way men and women deal with sexual health and stress in their later years varies greatly and that there is not one solution that can help ease unhappiness caused by sexual problems.

The research was conducted by Ryo Hirayama, a PhD student in Oregon State University’s (OSU) Department of Human Development and Family Sciences, and Professor Alexis Walker, who is the Jo Anne L. Petersen chair in gerontology and family studies at OSU.

The study was conducted with data from the National Social Life, Health, and Ageing Project.

The study showed that fewer than half of older adults with sexual problems discussed these problems with their doctors, although men were more likely to do so than women.

In addition, whether older adults discussed these issues with their physicians, did not make a difference in their well-being.
 
However, confiding in a partner or with friends was found to be effective for many men in reducing stress and unhappiness related to sexual problems. Unfortunately for women, this same benefit was not reported.

Women did not see any reduction in stress or well-being (unhappiness and depression) when they talked to their spouses either.

The researchers said the result brings into critical focus the importance for men in middle and later life of confiding in family members and friends.

Professor Walker, who has done research in the gerontology field for decades, said the medicalisation of ageing makes some people feel as if there is a “fix” for everything.

She said that in some cases, certain sexual issues might just be part of the ageing process and that the important part is that couples keep the lines of communication open.

“In the general context of sex and ageing, the rule is ‘use it or lose it’,” Professor Walker said.

“The best prediction of sexual activity is to continue to be sexually active throughout your adult life, to make it a part of your life. But it is also true that older people can have sexual problems, and sometimes there are ways to work around these issues by emphasizing other activities you enjoy as a couple.”