A day in the life of a carer

Love comes in “different ways”, according to Carers SA president, Jan Wallent, who believes being a carer to a loved one is the ultimate display of a love which knows no bounds.

Ms Wallent, a full-time carer to her 70-year-old husband, who lives with early-stage dementia, shares the joys and challenges of taking on the demanding role of carer.

“The hardest part is I no longer have a partner more or less. I’ve perhaps become somewhat of a parent to my husband,” she confesses to DPS News.

“It can be difficult because you never really think you’re going to be in a relationship where you almost have to be a parent to them because you are making decisions on their behalf, reminding them to shower and change their clothes, take tablets and make appointments,” she explains.

According to Ms Wallent, keeping active and socially engaged in the community is central to a carer’s role and success.

“Make sure you still do things to look after your own health and wellbeing. Get out in the community for some time-out. It may just be taking some time off or going to the hairdresser,” she says, adding she has been fortunate to have a supportive family network to help her.

Ms Wallent advises other carers to encourage their loved ones to, within their capabilities, do things for themselves.

“There is a trap that you may take over things, and we need to make them feel as though they are still in charge,” she says.

Confiding that 24-hour care can be “very draining”, Ms Wallent says her husband still has a sense of humour and revels in the opportunity to “have a joke” with him.

Although she is aware conversations with her husband will not always be filled with laughter, Ms Wallent says it will become more imperative that carers receive the supportive services they deserve and require.

“If we don’t look after carers, carers will eventually have worse health outcomes than the person they are caring for at the moment,” she claims.

Turning 68 years old in March, Ms Wallent says catering to ageing carers will also become vital.

“I think the caring process becomes more difficult as you become frailer, and there are many carers aged in their 70s,” she says.

Fuelled by vows made to her husband – in sickness and in health, Ms Wallent clings to a glimmer of hope.

“I will certainly look after my husband for as long as I can. While the future isn’t terribly hopeful, you do what you have to do day by day,” she says.

Are you a carer? Share your experiences by commenting in the box below.